Butchering – Spare me the splinters

Butchering – Spare me the splinters

I am convinced that every maniac, murderer and lunatic is employed in the Spanish meat industry.

As you will have noticed, not only do they have some unusual, no, very unusual cuts of meat, it seems to compulsory to have bone splinters included.

How difficult can it be to butcher meat correctly?

I don’t remember buying lamb chops, pork chops or chicken breasts in any other country and have my meat containing bone splinters.  The butchery industry is a highly trained skilled and artisan profession with high regard for standards and quality of work but maybe not in Spain.

I personally have butchered chickens with no splinters or stray shrapnel and I am not trained.

My theory is that to qualify as a butcher over here you must be of very limited intelligence and capable of wielding a very large blunt axe and constantly “topping up” from a bottle of pacharan at the same time.

I have bought chicken breasts with back bones, wing bones and many unknown bone splinter pieces from major super markets (are you listening Al Campo?).  And while we are on the subject, use by dates are not sell by dates, so how come my Halal chicken was green and minging 7 DAYS BEFORE ITS SELL BY DATE.

This is not good, not good at all.

Not only am I paying by weight for these bones in my “boneless” breasts but they seem to have the ability of a stealth fighter to hide until the second or third mouthful and then to ruin your confidence in the rest of the meal.
I am convinced that the butchering process in Spain is based on some black magic ritual where the hierarchy of the major supermarkets dress in black and greet each other with mystical handshakes.  They enter a hidden chamber in Al Campo headquarters and on to a room filled with pentagons and candles where they ritually slaughter the animals with increasingly blunt instruments in the knowledge that at least one animal that evening will result in the horrific chocking death of some innocent consumer.

The only other reason for this I can think of is that the major supermarkets in Spain own the dentistry industry.  This would make good commercial sense as dentistry in Spain is all performed privately and in an increasingly difficult financial climate they could just be using their resources to increase profits. This I could understand but at least give me a fighting chance and WARN ME you are useless at butchering.

Please guys, sort out the bones in your products or check your insurance small print covers death by splinters.

You have been warned